Just give it up already
I don't want postal mail anymore. Nothing. My wife isn't on board yet, but I've drawn the line in the sand. On January 1st 2010 I plan on removing my mail box from its brick enclosure, tastefully filling the opening with bricks.
I've already asked my United States Post Office insiders what the consequences would be, and they were delightful! All first class mail would get returned to their senders as undeliverable, postage due - but fuck them. Why are they mailing me shit anyway? It's 2010 damn it. I don't have fiber optic Internet piped into my house so I can get my slippers wet and muddy to retrieve the real spam in this world. All other inferior-class mail just gets hooped into the trash by the mail carrier. My slippers are clean.
Now my wife doesn't think this is a good idea, but I'm set on this course of action. I don't really see how she can stop me. I'm quite insane.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Neither Sleet Nor Snow
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1 comments:
This whole idea is insanity. Haven't you seen that episode of Seinfeld? We don't want to fuck with the Postal Service. Just be thankful that I find ever more clever ways to hide the cavalcade of bullshit that is sent to us but daily.
Plus, it is not your slippers that are getting dirty, anyway.
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