What I like about the Internet

You just don't have to spend much time explaining completely weird changes.

Random Album Review: Purple Rain

UPDATE: removed embedded SeeqPod, which was too script heavy for my tastes. A blog should be lightweight... use my iLike library for a listen instead.

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Purple Rain is the bomb. Despite this, I have to admit this album is contrary to my musical tastes in quite a few ways. Primarily, there are so many moments where I can feel the normally awful ooze of jamming rearing its ugly head, but surprisingly it never repels me.

When Purple Rain happened I think anyone in my demographic (suburban white teenager) was embracing probably the funkiest music of their lives. We could almost tap our toes in rhythm; it was intoxicating. We weren't sure if Prince was exactly black or exactly gay and for whatever reason it didn't matter. We could put the Purple Rain album right next to Led Zeppelin and Boston, and it was all right.

The film is a blurry distant memory. I couldn't imagine watching it again except for s&g. The most memorable thing for me was having an introduction to Morris Day's awesome sound.

Here is the track breakdown, best to worst.

The Beautiful Ones (5:14) - When it comes to generating lovin' action, this one has one of the highest play:score ratios of all time.

Darling Nikki (4:14) - Ten years before I knew this was my sister-in-law's theme song, I was fascinated with how provocative this song was. Great for offending any afraid-of-their-genitals Christians within earshot.

Let's Go Crazy (4:39) - I still haven't found Dr. Everything Will Be Alright.

When Doves Cry (5:54) - My complete inability to understand if Prince is the Dove or I'm the Dove or what possible noise non-existent aviary tear ducts might make doesn't diminish my enjoyment.

Purple Rain (8:42) - The quintessential Prince song. Though the film was essentially unwatchable, thankfully this album fails to induce any recall of it.

Take Me with U (3:54) - I enjoy the harmony with Apollonia Kotero.

I Would Die For U (2:50) - Trite but still alright.

Baby I'm a Star (4:25) - A high energy dud. (Sorry no SeeqPod below, but you aren't missing much.)

Computer Blue (4:00) - I don't get it, nor do I listen to it.

Hitler, The Cure and My Daugher

In a It's a Small World exercise, I've discovered that this week in April is a non-stop birthday hit parade. Murders' row of birthdays:

• April 20 - Hitler
• April 21 - Robert Smith (of The Cure)
• April 22 - My daughter's birthday

Of course we are all familiar with Hitler (and his love of the Cowboys). Robert Smith possesses the undying love and affection of my wife. And, my 10 year old daughter has my undying love and wants to run the world as the supreme dictator some day.

Listen Up Democrat Super Delegate Cabal

I have NEVER voted Democratic in any general election for any office ever. My voting days go back to the 80's. This fall, if Clinton is NOT on the ballot, I will vote for a Democrat in a general election. And, I mean NOT on the ballot. Not on top. Not on the bottom. No fucking where near the damn ballot in any way.

The stink of Clinton makes Democrats unbearable. Wash the stench of that lying tramp and her whoring bigoted red-neck husband out of the party.

If Clinton does weasel her way on the ticket, I promise this: I will donate cash money to McCain (the first time I've ever done anything like that) and will work tirelessly for his campaign. I'll have my kids on the streets with Vote McCain! sandwich boards. I will make harassing and offensive calls on behalf of the Clinton campaign to as many residents of swing states as I can.

I am not alone.


P.S. Pennsylvania, you suck.

This Shit Writes Itself: Part Two

Kidneys, they're like Hot Pockets -- two come in a box but you really only need one.

- Valient Himself (2008), Frontman for Valient Thorr

This Shit Writes Itself

Federal lawsuit filed by Jonathan Lee Riches©.

Courtesy Unfair Park

Random Album Review: The Stranger

I've put a fair amount of work into organizing my iTunes collection of music and I'd like to randomly chat it up a bit. My Random Album Reviews won't be timely or even hip. I'm actually quite lame and quintessentially not cool.

The first installment is Billy Joel's The Stranger.



Although Wikipedia could easily add a head shot of Joel on the fugly page, his music has always been a staple for me since junior high. Easily, the best and only great song off the album is She's Always a Woman. It's pure corn hits me square in the eyes; if I'm not careful, I'll even get a sniffle.

Decent tracks include Just the Way You Are and Only the Good Die Young. Unremarkable but fun and fluffy, great for blaring to scare off any encroaching hip-hop element in the vicinity. Honorable mentions include Movin' Out (Anthony's Song) and Scenes From an Italian Restaurant, both of which live tenuously on a thread in my iTunes.

If this album interests you, visit my Facebook iLike Library for a listen.

The Sum Total of My StumbleUpon Experience

Not exactly awesome.

What Happened To...

What I'm Reading Now on the sidebar? The one thing I didn't like about the Share feature of Google Reader is that although it is effortless to publish a feed of articles I find interesting it is completely without context.

Instead I will be publishing Posted Items on my Facebook profile, where I can add context.

BigCheese and Facebook

I've decided to maximize what Facebook has to offer in terms of organizing and promoting BigCheese. In addition to my Facebook Profile, there is now a BigCheese Facebook Page. Only very significant announcements on the BigCheese page will be duplicated here, so if you want the minutia of this project's progress sign up as a fan there.

I have to say that so far, I like Facebook. The interface is clean and the core features are super simple after just the briefest of interaction. A precious few of the applications I've encountered are very useful, however the overwhelming majority appear to be pure clutter.

[edit - I forgot the hyperlinks on my original posting]

Project Update: BigCheese

BigCheese is my project to create a unique fantasy football franchise. I've identified some initial important and large areas of work:

• Obtaining an historical statistics data store
• Defining the competitive algorithm
  
• Marketing strategies to accomplish the primary unique goal: external funding
• Recruiting seven highly motivated and intelligent original franchise owners

The Data
Fantasy sports' lifeblood are statistics. The nfl.com site has a dearth of consistent statistics available from the 2000 season or so. That data isn't entirely friendly to consume in any mechanical manner. I can only assume that is intentional, but it isn't an insurmountable problem. I've already undertaken absorbing the 2007 season's data, nearly halfway there. The coding to rip through the raw data is a little painstaking, but very reusable when I want to go back and do all the prior seasons with statistics available as well as all the future data. I'm definitely building a foundation of automation. The 2007 season data will provide a basis for analytical what-if scenarios in the next big area work.

The Competitive Algorithm
It is obvious to me already that elements of both team and individual statistics will be necessary to accommodate the franchise owner experience of a meaningful 53-man roster. My goal is to develop an algorithm that closely matches the history. For instance, I'll imagine a set of 32 fantasy franchise owners with rosters and game schedules identical to the 2007 season. I'll compare my algorithm against the statistics and tweak it until it matches the actual scoring and victory outcomes as closely as possible; this will involve some heavy duty analytical data processing.

Marketing Strategies
Creating a fantasy league that is externally funded is quite an obstacle. I've gotten a few ideas on this already. A few of them include:

• Web advertising revenue (i.e., Google Ads) - but why would people come?
  
• Get celebrity involvement (which would in turn increase traffic and web advertising revenue) - which sorts of celebrities?
  
• Corporate sponsorship / Franchise naming rights - for example actual franchises are geographically "sponsored" these days, what if bobshardware.com sponsored your team like it was a bowling team?
• Interest from an endowment? where will the endowment come from? A refundable deposit, perhaps?
  
• MLM (and this violates my drastically limit-the-supply concept) - what if juice from fees from feeder leagues fed their parents? There would still be one Master league?

Recruiting
I've arbitrarily (and tentatively) decided eight owners would comprise a decent group. I haven't lifted a finger on this and I won't until I've accomplished the first two work areas and have at least some crude interface. If you decide you are interested in becoming an original owner, please contact me (or comment on the blog). There won't be any financial costs to franchise owners in any way, ever (perhaps a refundable deposit?). However, the price will be active involvement, solid commitment to give me the feedback I need to get this project right - especially during a turbulent first season of change.

Project Update: MiTunes

While researching the the particulars for my MiTunes project, I came to some interesting conclusions:

• I don't want to share my music nearly as much as I thought I did.
• facebook applications (i.e., Profile Music, iLike, etc.) can serve my spot needs adequately

So consider this project aborted.

P.S. I've included a link on the sidebar to my facebook profile